


Dirk The Wingman Turns Into Dirk The Main Man

by PixelatedPups



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Sburb Session, Dumb Idiots Get Together, Fluff, Just Funny Haha, M/M, You Stole My Boyfriend Prepare To Die, just kissing, poor Dave
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-12
Updated: 2020-12-12
Packaged: 2021-03-10 22:14:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,218
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28024545
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PixelatedPups/pseuds/PixelatedPups
Summary: After several years of Dave simping for John, will he finally have the balls to ask him out? Nah lmao, he obviously asks Dirk to do it for him like a middle schooler, and it works! For Dirk at least.
Relationships: John Egbert/Dirk Strider
Kudos: 11
Collections: DirkJohn Big Bang 2020





	Dirk The Wingman Turns Into Dirk The Main Man

**Author's Note:**

> Art coming soon by denz.he (https://www.instagram.com/denz.he/) !!!!!

Ok. This is it. Today’s the day. 

You’ve been mulling it over in your head for weeks, but John’s fluttery eyes and his stupidly cute buck-toothed grin make you forget that you wanted to ask him anything in the first place. You even made a bet with your older brother so you wouldn’t back away so easily this time. You swallow. You didn’t even know your throat was this dry. Before you can even knock on the door, it squeaks open.

“Oh, hi Dave! I didn’t know you’d be here so early haha,” you sweat. You were supposed to be here two hours from now but you couldn’t wait to see him. You thought by now he would catch the signs, and you thought he actually did at some point, but he never acted differently or questioned you about what you were doing. 

“Spending my time with you rather than on my couch watching reruns sounded a lot better,” you say while smiling to pass it off that you were not in fact sitting in your car debating whether or not to come to the door for twenty minutes. He laughs again and you blush instantly. As you mentally curse yourself, he steps through the doorway and heads over to his couch while you struggle to keep your heart rate at ease. 

You didn’t really have a plan other than come over and play games, so finding the right moment to ask him feels like you’re stepping on eggshells. When there is a good break in between switching games you almost ask him. You’re so close. The words just don’t form in time before you decide to wait. Before you know it, you’re walking out of his apartment and waving goodbye. 

“God fucking damn it,” you scowl at the horizon, angrily shoving your keys into your car and turning on the radio to drown out your embarrassment. As soon as you start to leave John’s complex, you already know what’s coming for you when you come home. Your brother is never going to let you live this down after all the big talk you subjected him to. 

Once you make it home you try to stay quiet by tiptoeing through the house. After no surprise attack, you try your luck by going into the kitchen but you still don’t find him. You sigh with relief as you find the light shining through the bottom of his door, but you’re still antsy. You being unable to ask John out for the hundredth time is giong to eat at you until you eventually tell him anyway so you don't stop yourself from sulking into his room. He glances up at you when you walk in, but continues messing with a pile of scrap metal at his desk.

“I couldn’t ask him again,” you mumble as you make your way to his bed and dive face first into his pillow. “Figured. You wanna talk about it or are you finding a new true love in soft, rectangle form?” You laugh-huff and bring your face to the side. “It’s just...the timing is off. But every time it’s right, I can’t speak. He makes my brain turn into mush and I can’t think about what I really want to say to him. Sometimes I wish I could get someone else to ask for me,” you trail off for a second before your face lights up. “Maybe  _ you _ could ask him! You’re the only one that knows how I feel about him.” He doesn’t respond right away and you start to regret ever suggesting the idea in the first place before he agrees. 

You have to do a double take. He said yes? He said yes! Sure it’s a little immature for your brother asking your crush out for you, but you’ve been stuck on this for months already. No point backing away from a golden opportunity. Your face lights up again and you let out a “Fuck yeah!!!” before fake coughing into your fist and trying to regain what little composure you had. 

“So what’s the plan?” You get on the edge of the bed like you couldn’t hear him perfectly clear before. “Tell John tomorrow to meet you somewhere nearby and I can help you tell him.” You want to ask him for more details but you decide to at least wait till tomorrow. After some more small talk, you head back to your own room.

When the sun rudely interrupts your dream date with John, you saunter into the kitchen. After texting John asking to meet up again, Dirk runs through the basics of what he’s going to do. The plan is to get all three of you to meet up and for Dirk to casually ask if John would want to date anyone. That way they would at least know if John was open to the idea of dating in general. You thank Dirk and start to watch the time slowly go by excitedly as you get ready.

-

The way there was all fine and dandy but when Dirk pulls into the parking lot you suddenly feel like you can’t move. The idea of finally letting John know your true feelings sounded like something you wanted to happen as soon as possible but you started to get nervous. Your hands start to shake and you want to go home and bottle your feelings up forever. 

You can’t help trying to get Dirk to turn around and telling John that something unexpected happened and you can’t come. Dirk doesn’t let you try to worm your way out of this easily though and tries to drag you out of the car like some toddler not wanting to go to school.

“Dirk _ please  _ can we go home. I can’t do it! Look, my hands are getting all sweaty! What if I drop a wine glass and kill John!” He looks at you like you’ve finally lost it. “Dave. We are at a McDonald’s.” You can’t even be embarrassed enough to calm down, your anxiety took the front seat and you’re starting to get stubborn.

Dirk finally realizes that you’re not going to budge and crouches down next to you. “Do you still want me to go in and ask him?” You nod. Might as well let Dirk go in rather than leaving John here by himself. “Just tell him I started throwing up and had to stay behind or something.” Dirk pats your shoulder and gives you a thumbs up before heading in.

You watch as Dirk sits with John near a window and starts talking with him. It looks like it’s going well so you decide to pass the time on your phone. When you look back up, you’re surprised to see Dirk and John laughing together. You’re not sure why, but seeing your brother having a good time with your life-long crush makes you think that maybe John would be better with someone else. The other day you wouldn’t even have thought about giving up on John, but seeing him with your brother makes you breathe out a breath you didn’t know you were holding. You suddenly have a lot more questions about yourself, but at least one of them is answered. You want your brother to be with John. 


End file.
